Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
