I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
