I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
