I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
