Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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