Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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