I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
