So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
