I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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