So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
