Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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