real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
