I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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