I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
