Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
