Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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