woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
