ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
