I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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