You work out of a Hotel?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
