Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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