i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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