I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
