there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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