I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
