will power is for people who don't want to get laid
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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