Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
