my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
