If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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