so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
