you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
