My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
