I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
