you would pick up someone in the library
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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