hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
