why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize