I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
