your thong is hanging out like whoa
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My vagina just clenched in fear
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
