i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize