That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
