Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
