Can i not drive my cunt home
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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