Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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