But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
