do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
