what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
