I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
