better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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