You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
