You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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