Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
