You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
