Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize