just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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