Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I FOUND THE LEGS
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
