Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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