I want to make a zoo with you.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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