so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
