It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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