I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize