Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
