did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
