The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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