You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
