Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She needs sedatives and a leash
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
