so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Boobs are out for the taking
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
