I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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