Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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