He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
