watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
