i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
