i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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