Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
